Today I learned that I have been using my “bad degree” as a crutch. Yes there is not much you can really do with any degree. You have to have drive, and experience in order to really do something in life. For the longest time I really never had much drive to do anything. I want to be a writer but never drove myself to become one. I didn’t push myself, didn’t do the research, didn’t really pursue it with much passion. As with much of my past I was scared. I was afraid that if I tried to become “a writer” that I would fail miserably and not get anything published, and not be able to survive. Currently I am surviving but is it really living. I question this frequently because I really do want to change and I am doing so slowly. I’m becoming more of a risk taker. I have a lot more confidence in myself and I am enjoying what I am doing at school. Now if I can take that and apply it outside of school that would be great. It’s nice that I am feeling this way but will it be enough this time, will I use this boost to help propel me into something better for my life or when school gets out will I fall back into the old ruts again. I can only hope not, and strive to be a better person than I was before. I want to succeed now, and I know what I want to do. I didn’t really know that then.